Thursday, October 28, 2010

on chinese hospitals...

so the last 2 days, i've had to go to one of the hospitals in macau to get a physical for work. i've had plenty of physicals in my life (at the same doctor's office i've been going to since i was 7), but clearly none in a hospital in another country. so this was my first experience with foreign medicine. the physical entailed a blood pressure reading, height/weight, surgical history, chest x-ray, urine test, and a tetanus shot. to be honest, i haven't been to a doctor/hospital since college when i went to health services when i was having my lung and chest illnesses in the winter of 08, so i haven't been in a while. even then, i've always known that when my blood pressure is taken, it always runs on the high side, always. while i'm no doctor, i always figured that this high blood pressure has always had a direct correlation with how much i sweat, so i've basically had it all my life, although doctors always say that it's nothing to really worry about.

then i get to china, where they obviously haven't had too many americans in there with high blood pressure. so i take my blood pressure first. they say it's on the high side (no news to me). i do all of my other things, and they ask to take it again, because it was high. it's even higher the second time. they seem worried, so they ask me to come back in the next day to test it again. since they seemed worried, it actually starts to worry me. i even went home and googled high blood pressure to see what i was in for. something about strokes. anyway, so i went back in today where i have to sit on the couch for 15 minutes before they can take it. i'm called back, i take it again. the nurse is utterly shocked. it's higher than yesterday. all she can say is "why?" like i know the answer. "i went to mcdonalds after the hospital and got 10 orders of fries with extra salt and a gallon of moonshine!" i just started to laugh. so they ask me to go back out to the waiting room and sit for 20 minutes and maybe drink so water to do it again.

then another nurse comes out to ask me whether hospitals make me nervous which would raise my blood pressure. really? who likes hospitals? i don't. i've never had a good experience in one. well, birth was probably pretty cool but all the screaming in the room probably scarred me somehow (thanks mom), but my first actual memory of being in a hospital was when i was 3 and had to get stitches in my forehead after i cracked it open on my headboard when i slipped while jumping on my bed. not good. the next one was probably when i accidentally split my little brother's head open with an aluminum baseball bat (seriously, an accident, my little brother hit my in the nether regions with a tennis ball when we were playing outside and as he was running away, i whipped the bat across the yard and it somehow zeroed in a hit him square in the back of the head. freak accident). but as punishment, my mom made me watch as the doctor stapled the wound shut. (again, thanks mom). then all my ER trips for soccer induced ankle injuries, concussions, broken nose and other things along the way. yeah, i don't like hospitals. so maybe that raised my blood pressure. that and them making me think i actually had serious health issues and would have a stroke soon (which inevitably got billy squire stuck in my head).

anyway, 20 minutes pass, i do it again. surprise, surprise...higher. so the nurse dusts off the manual blood pressure thing, with the hand pump and all. and do it. what do you know...lower. stupid machines. just when i thought chinese technology was supposed to be the best. EHHHH! (that's my best wrong answer onamonapia). anyway, i really hope i don't have to see another doctor while i'm over here. cheers to american medicine and mainstream high blood pressure!

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